Hugh Hefner Is Not Dead...So He Says

Despite reports to the contrary legendary senior citizen “playboy” Hugh Hefner wants you to know that he’s not dead.



The 85-year-old who was dumped by his 25-year-old fiancée just days before the wedding was killed off by the Internet earlier this week, but in actuality, he’s still very much alive and free to prey on women young enough to be his granddaughters. "The rumors of my death are, as Mark Twain observed in a similar situation, greatly exaggerated," Hef tweeted. "I’m very much alive & kicking." But Hef is no fool, he knows that the Grim Reaper could knock on his door any day now. "I'm happy to see how many people are pleased that I'm not dead,” he wrote. "I'm pleased too."

Not only is he still breathing and rocking silk pajamas like his life depends on it, he’s also found a new lady to take up his time, playmate Shera Bechard. So why other men are trying to figure out how to get laid, Hef is not only running circles around them, but probably putting his baby-soft hands all over Bechard on a daily basis.

We love you Hef!